March 4 10

What the hell, silly bandz? Seriously, you trying to ruin my life? Ah, yes. I do believe that you are.

You started out innocent enough. You were just another one on the laundry list of things my children need to have…the pillow pet, the snuggie, the brownie pan, the cupcake cake, the bump-it, the touch and brush toothpaste dispenser…yes, my children are a marketer’s wet dream. “You know what you need, Mama? PROACTIV!” Thank you, child, for pointing out my pesky little acne problem (but, it’s not my fault…it’s the effing Mirena!) Next thing you know, Isabella will be pimping that chin-exerciser contraption thing for my chin waddle. Children really are a blessing, aren’t they?

Yes, pimping as-seen-on-tv shit. As long as it’s shown during Full House. Oh my god, you guys, those Olsen Twins and Uncle Jesse are making a killing in royalty fees off of my children. At first I thought, it’s a miracle! A show that ALL THREE of my children will watch and not complain. But now, we have a dvr filled with 87 episodes, a child who wants to change her name to Michelle, and  “you got it, dude” and “how rude!” have permanently been added to their lexicons.


It’s all Full House. All the damn time.

The urges to make the meth jokes are strong with me.

But back to the pesky little problem at hand. We will deal with the fact that “whatever happened to predictability…the milk man, the paper boy…evening tv…” is in my head all the livelong day tomorrow. today we will deal with THIS

Apparently, you are not SOMEBODY unless you have more of these animal and circus and princess and rock shaped pieces of silicone than anyone else in your class. Apparently, if a boy likes you, he gives you silly bandz. Apparently, there are silly bandz CLUBS. Apparently, different silly bandz are worth more than others.

And apparently, you cannot buy this little suckers ANYWHERE.

Oh no, I have tried. I have driven around the city hearing about all the clubs my kids are going to get kicked out of if they can’t produce enough silly bandz. THERE WERE TEARS, people. TEARS. So, I bought them online.

Mother of the year, thankyouverymuch.

But, alas, there’s that little thing called 5-9 days shipping. My ears cannot take this. If those bloody things don’t arrive in the mail soon, there’s going to be hell to pay.

And I’m sure there’s a club I’m going to get kicked out of. No matter how many pink pancakes with chocolate chips I make for them…

If you want to see more of me – and, I mean, obviously, you do – you can read my latest entertainment news over at Juice, my latest outfit over at The Urban Closet, my latest advice over at So You Want It, and my latest blathering over at Aiming Low.

  1. Oh.MY.GOD. to watch full house as an adult is torture. I LOVED it as a kid. LOVED.

    Comment by Gemini-Girl on March 4, 2010
  2. I believe it’s called KARMA. I loved it as a kid too!

    Comment by alimartell on March 4, 2010
  3. I still love Full House. In fact, I watched it on Monday when I was home sick. Joey was named as Ranger Joe! “The funniest guy you know, Ranger Joe!” (I am beginning to understand why your kids like me.)

    So are those basically jelly bracelets?

    Comment by Kristabella on March 4, 2010
  4. Wait. Pink pancakes? Tell me more. And by that, I mean make me some for my tummy.

    Comment by Avitable on March 4, 2010
  5. Never heard of them…I guess they haven’t migrated up to Canada yet…it’s only a matter of time I’m sure!

    Comment by Kathy on March 4, 2010
  6. I loved Full House so much that it was embarassing. I wanted to *be* DJ. Until now, I thought it was “the milkman..the paperboy..even TV!” Duh!

    Comment by Jen on March 4, 2010
  7. I think you can get those silly bandz things that like office depot and staples.

    Comment by jkru on March 4, 2010
  8. My girls have those and we purchased ours at the Container Store, which is the coolest store EVER!!! We didn’t use them as friendship bracelets, however, just plain old hair ties. They are great because they hold the shape of the animal and are reusable in their hair. Hope the kiddos enjoy your hardwork in finding them……good luck!!!

    Comment by Melissa Moore on March 4, 2010
  9. awww Full House… but from Gemini-Girl’s comment, I think I’ll leave it in the past 🙂

    those bandz look seriously uncomfortable to wear!

    Comment by Bronnie on March 4, 2010
  10. My oldest loves them too! I found some at Books-A-Million and Hallmark. Good Luck!

    Comment by Alicia on March 4, 2010
  11. Silly Bandz haven’t hit here yet…we’re blessed with “squishies!” They’re really just pencil toppers but the kids are going nuts over them. Driving.Me.Crazy. (and their teachers too)

    I love Full House (still!)!

    Comment by alison on March 4, 2010
  12. You know that Alanis wrote “You Ought to Know” about Uncle Joey, right? Yeah, I’m never going to a movie with him.

    Comment by steenky bee on March 4, 2010
  13. I can get you some tomorrow and send them right away. They are everywhere here, and a friend of mine sells them at her shop! Let me know ! And I want pink pancakes too !!

    Comment by Kim on March 5, 2010
  14. We haven’t heard of them here…yet. Or maybe Emily’s too young. Something to…look forward to?

    Comment by Angella on March 5, 2010
  15. oh dear. at least those silly bandz aren’t a different kind of bracelet that used to be around abour 6 years ago. Sex bracelets, made of the same silicon thingers, each different color had a different sexual meaning and when somebody snapped a bracelet off of your wrist you had to do whatever the color stood for with that person.

    So wrong.

    This seems more safe. I hope.
    .-= Katie´s last blog .. =-.

    Comment by Katie on March 5, 2010
  16. I am not even kidding that the same exact thing is happening in our house!!! A) with every product imaginable my girls want….did you have fun slides on that list, because I am not sure if I saw them and B) these mother freaking bracelets……GAAAHHH!

    Sadie at heyMamas
    .-= Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Some different views =-.

    Comment by Sadie at heyMamas on March 5, 2010
  17. The pink pancakes are scaring me a little bit.

    Here it’s Fresh Prince. Which I used to adore. However, seeing Will Smith like that now is just wrong. But oh how my girls adore it. I’m not sure that it’s much better than Full House.

    Comment by Issa on March 7, 2010
  18. I heard about the silly bandz (and their evil twins) before Christmas, so I bought some for Anna. She could care less… THANK GOD.

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on March 7, 2010

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