Someone in this house is playing the saxophone — somewhat comically, mostly messy, completely enthusiastically — at 8:41pm on a school night and all I can think is that this, this has got to be some sort of metaphor for what my life is like right now.

Comical, messy, enthusiastic. 

Pretty much.

After cryreading an article saying that the average price for a detached home in Toronto is just over one million dollars, the housing market took this extra little upswing in 2015 and now the homes that I considered expensive just two short months ago and didn’t buy because they were expensive are now considered cheap and I’m kicking myself for not buying three houses in January and now I pretty much cannot buy a house where I want to buy a house and my family is basically going to be homeless as of May 12th.

I’m trying to remain optimistic and hopeful and to believe in my heart of hearts that we are doing the right thing for our family (we 100% are) and that the perfect house in the perfect price range in the perfect neighborhood will fall into our laps {it 100% won’t} so in the meantime I’ll just laugh at my own bad jokes about Jon Hamm and Edward James Olmos and look at real estate in Buffalo. Or maybe Detroit — I hear it needs to be re-gentrified these days.

{insert awkward sax sound here}

I had a man cold this week but the snow outside is melting because for the first time in forever the temperatures have risen above -16 and I’m re-learning what the sun looks like because I had completely forgotten. There’s something less pathetic about using an entire box of tissues on your drive to work when you don’t have to wear mitts and use your seat warmers.

{insert funny sax sound here}

There’s a bit of a homeworkslashschoolslashresponsibility situation in our house right now that has required me to look into things like tutors and summer school and I don’t even know how this happened so quickly and of course as a previously-working-from-home mother who is now a working-mostly-out-of-the-home mother I tend to put the blame on myself even though I’m 100% certain that I can’t be the only one to blame here but screens have been removed and sugar has been curbed and now everyone is spending every evening at our dining room table underneath multiplication and health and science and social studies and measurement.

Without the sugar I’m a wee bit short on patience, though.

{insert weird sax sound here}

I’m starting to worry about snapchat.

And then there is the girl who hates Isabella and actually calls her Fart Face, like, to her face. Like, “Hi Fart Face!”

{insert off-key sax sound here}

So yes, someone is playing the saxophone. Comically, messily, enthusiastically. 

But at least it’s not the baritone this time?