Like her, I cannot stand the phrase ‘pet peeve’ and it’s, if you will, a pet peeve of mine. I prefer to call them something else, like, say my arch enemies. They are the Cady Heron to my Regina George. The Johnny Lawrence to my Daniel Larusso. The Mama Fratelli to my entire Goonies team, except for Martha Plimpton because really she wasn’t actually a Goonie and totally whined the entire movie.

Anyway, I have been fighting with my directTV and my photoshop elements this week and so I was already feeling a little bit like the arch enemies are just crawling out of the woodwork, so I figured that this week’s girl talk thursday came at just the right time. Only today is Friday. But, you know, I work at home, so you could tell me that today is a Tuesday in February and I’d be all, “SWEET! Is the LOST premiere on tonight because I am really pumped to get the skinny on this Jacob dude already?”

So, here you go, it’s an incomplete list, because I am easily annoyed.

It annoys me…

…when my kids don’t pay any attention to the obvious “you cannot talk to me because I’m on the phone” finger wag and continue to talk to me while I’m on the phone.

…that there are NEVER any pens. EVER.

…that people don’t think Shia Labeouf looks like giant wiener.

…that the skype pen shows people when I am typing something.

…that I have to pay for my gas inside because my Canadian credit card has a 6-digit zip code that includes some letters and apparently, pay-at-the-pump machines are too stupid to recognize this.

…when someone finishes the toilet paper and doesn’t replace it and you don’t realize until you are already midstream and then you have to figure out how in the hell you are going to make that work.

…that the best cereals completely destroy the roof of my mouth.

…when my kids chew beside me.

…when I have to change the DVD in the car.

…when people use the word slacks. and the word panties.

…people cannot figure out how a four-way stop works.

…when people do not figure things like traffic and oh! I have children into their estimations of how long it’s going to take them to be somewhere and they end up being ridiculously late and I – who does build in time for traffic and children – end up having to wait.

…that they even MAKE NON washable Crayola markers.

…when my dog takes a shit on the book I am reading.

…when pants are too short.

…when I have insomnia.

…when people who don’t have accents use accents when talking to foreign people. My husband does this when talking to Israelis.