It’s amazing how productive a person can be when given a few hours to herself.

Now just imagine how productive a work-at-home mom can be when given a few child-free hours during hell week**.

(The answer is very, VERY)

First thing I was productive at? Eating 6  Oreos.

Also, spilling all over my adorable green skirt. (So I will probably be productive at doing laundry as well)

**Hell week, to those of you who are new here, is the week between when camp ends and school starts.

Now, before you start in on me with “Don’t you love your kids, Ali?” the answer, my god, is of course I love my kids, and I love spending time with them, but trying to work a full time job and trying to get three children ready for school and trying to entertain three kids with three different agendas all at the same time is nearly impossible of a feat. I’m pretty bendy and stretchy, but even I don’t bend and stretch that far.

Now, before you start in on me with “Why didn’t you just book that week off, Ali?” the answer is, my god, would that I could. Rosh Hashanah is rounding the corner and the troops and I will be spending almost an entire week in Milwaukee with my family and I will be taking off the entire time for traveling, holidaying, and familying (See also: shopping) so taking off another week was just not in the cards for me.

So, this week required a tremendous amount of juggling, and instead of being a good juggler (I was not) I sort of just dropped all of the balls all over the place. PLUS THERE WAS THE ISSUE OF THE NON-INTERNET AND TELEVISION. I started Monday feeling confident and full of the best intentions. You want a playdate? Sure! You want me to cut up an apple? Of course! You need me for a meeting? Obviously. And then I drove to one friend’s house, and then another, and then another, and then another. And then there were sleepovers and kids wanting to do things that required sprinklers and using the stove and non-washable paints. And then there were work emergencies and sponsored content to write where my willing participant with the golden hair (hint: it was Isabella) became an unwilling participant (hint: it was Isabella).

Also, Isabella gets up at 6am. So there’s that.

Everyone was hungry all of the damn time. “Apples don’t grow on trees you guys!” is an actual thing I may have said. {It’s possible I may have lost my mind a little bit.}{Probable}

Everyone was tired, including me. Everyone was cranky, including me. Everyone was bickery, including me. Everyone needed a break from each other, including me.

And then the skies opened up and I got the call of a lifetime.

“Can I take the kids for lunch and to the wave pool?” Yes, Savta Yvonne. You can. You so, so can.

Laaaaaaaaalaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaa can you hear the angels singing?!

So then I ate Oreos and stained my skirt.

And wrote 3 sponsored posts and did 6 hours of work in less than 2 and did three loads of laundry and made dinner and loaded the dishwasher and wrote 32 emails and returned 6 phone calls and mabels labeled the crap out of all of the school supplies.

And didn’t have to cut up one apple.